"Time does not heal the wound, it will though in its most merciful way blunt the edge ever so slightly." - Jack Gramm 88 Minutes

OK, so finally its not a song, but I really feel like i need to address this. I just finished watching this awesome movie 88 Minutes starring none other than AL PACINO, not let me be completely honest. I've only scene parts of most of this movies and for some really strange reason I always get him mixed up with Robert DeNiro, but let me tell you he truly is one of the greatest. He never ever lets his character down. Ok so enough Drama Club member psychobabble. So Justice and truth, its a very interesting concept no? What are they separately? Justice in my opinion is something that is served to someone, it is an assessment of actions that are performed by that person. And truth,while the biology student in me will tell that it is completely subjective until i get to heaven is something that only the person doing the action can know. So now we are stuck rite? Between truth and justice, because they cannot exist within the same body? So why do we try to do so? We have a legal system that seeks to intersect two things that cannot be  intersected. And its all over our society. We past judgements all the time without ever knowing the truth. Strange huh?

And the issue of time healing all, what is that? I mean, its so true, as long as we are alive we will always feel the hurt, the joy, the pain, emotions stay with us a lot longer than we would like, and those memories are the ones that hold us hostage. But for some people time will allow them to reassess the situation in a million different ways and that cold lead to closure, and other will do the same and dig themselves into even deeper holes. But we must remember that the facts of the situation can NEVER be changed we did not know then what we know now, and so in the words of Madonna (yes i know not exactly the most quotable  person, but hey) "Life your live with no regrets, so make the right choice, even when u think they are wrong.

Well world, I'm off night night.

Shanna

So I know its been a while again, this has honestly been the toughest week of my academic career. But it is Sabbath and I am so happy for that. I get to rest and concentrate on the important things in eternity. I find it so difficult to do so at times, however it is essential. Also this week among all my troubles I was reading my quarterly, and i was faced with a question that first grappled me at the beginning of the semester. How Could Jesus be wholly human and wholly divine? How is that possible? I mean I used to think that it wasn't possible I mean Jesus had a constant escape all the time. He could just be like "Forget this, and walk away from us all." As humans we do not have that ability, we can't call bread into existence when we are hungry, we can't simply heal ourselves. And Jesus could, so how could i follow him? How could i ever be like him? That's not a good enough example. And then this morning I woke up, and i prayed in my heart and asked God to tell me if I should go to church today or not, and the first time i asked him for a sign He said no, so i asked again, and again the sign was not shown. So i decided I wasn't going to stay in my bed sleeping, but I decided to study my bible, and last week I watched 3ABN and really enjoyed it. So i turned on 3ABN again, and there was the Sabbath school lesson being done. And it was in this 1 hour segment, that I discovered the humanity of Jesus. For the first time it was laid out in front of me. Pastor Steve Allred  answered my question, and many others in that one hour. He began the lesson by discussing a story of 2 young men who decided to "Become the Christians they say they are" And by that I mean they decided to depend wholly on Jesus, so they gave up all that they had, and became homeless, and thought that they would literally live by faith alone. And Pastor Allred said, just because they had the ability to pick up the phone at any time and go back to their great lives doesn't mean that the experiences that they had were not real. And that is so true, they were still hungry and cold, and hot, and ashamed. Just like Jesus, just because He could leave, did not mean that what he was feeling was not pain or hurt or hunger. And my eyes were opened. Pastor Allred pointed me to Isaiah 53, and in that chapter I see who Jesus knew he would be, the portrait painted was intense and sad and depressed, yet it was inspired by God, and Jesus was sitting right there. I imagine when we don't know what it is like to feel hunger, we can't imagine, and we probably figure that we could take it, its not so bad, but then we get it. I imagine that might've been what Jesus thought sitting in Heaven. And that could be why when it came time to be sacrificed he cried out to his father so much, and even God the father could not fully understand what Jesus was going through. And so Jesus truly was wholly human as well as Wholly divine.

Another important lesson that i learned was that Jesus was the best example, and not the impossible one like i once believed. You see in Hebrews 5:8, 9 you see that like me Jesus learned obedience from his suffering. OMG! that is so true, Jesus knows we can get through that temptations because He got through them, but not without a fight. I see the love of Jesus as a wish that I don't ever want to lose. I see so much more, and i know now why God told me not to go to church today, because if i had to hear this, i had to  hear this from Pastor Allred. It is so strange, and people often don't understand how important it is to listen. And I pray that God would make me a better listener, because I find that I have become more of a fighter, and that is not the kind of people God wants to be his leaders.

So, world, learn to listen to that Holy Spirit, and don't forget that our main agenda is heaven, and everything else needs to find a place other than the one that has been assigned to God.

So I heard the strange comment ever about me today, well it was more of a question that later triggered a comment. Today a friend of mine (new friend) looked me and asked, "Shanna, you want to get married?" And it initally took me way of guard cause i didn't really get where she was coming from. So i asked her why she asked the question, and she said that i just strike her as the type of person who could stay single, and have fun for the rest of my life. And this got me thinking, do I really want to be single forever? I mean that would be insanely hard at times, and at other times it wud prolly be the best thing ever, i could go where i wanted, do wat i wanted, and how i wanted. But at the same time, who wants to grow old alone? I mean that's also a really hard concept to grasp, not having a big wedding or family, or someone who knows u better than you know yourself, i mean i know it all sounds a bit cliche but i think that i want those things sometimes. I mean through everything, the relationships, the breakups, i think that i've learnt that somethings in life are not worth fighting for. What if you marry someone just cause you don't want to be lonely forever, and then u realize that they weren't meant for you, that there is someone else out there who fits u like a glove but now u are stuck with this other person for all eternity. Isn't that a bizarre and sad concept? I just always felt like that would be me, i would make the wrong choice, and end up stuck.But after my friend made that comment, i started seriously thinking about how i see my life panning out, like whether or not i wud get married. What kind of wife wud i make? What kind of single person wud i make. I mean being single in college is one thing but in life? In the world out there? Wow....So, world I leave with these thots that u may ponder as I do.

Sweet Dreams

Shans

Today i had a serious debate with some friends over 2 very sensitive topics for members of any religion. The first topic was the sex issue and the church. We debated whether or not the church should teach its members about the risks, and/or benefits of unsafe and safe sex. Should the church be the forum for which people are able to be educated about sex. And if it is does that mean that the church is promoting premarital sex to people? My personal belief is yes, if the church is going to discuss sex at all it needs to stop discussing sex within the bounds of marriage only. Now I'm not saying that the church should openly say that it is discussing sex both inside and outside of marriage, but once a person is married he or she will already be practicing safe sex. I believe The church needs to educate its people on the dangers of certain taboos that have been culturally accepted about sex, that have been scientifically disproven. In my opinion these issues cannot be left up to the home because so many young people are the result of this same lack of adequate sexual education. I think that if we truly love our fellow church members especially the youth that we will be willing to educate them, and not assume that if we only say abstinence then they will listen, but we will do like the Lord himself and lay out all the facts and allow our young people to make the best decisions, and hope that the Holy Spirit will guide through this decision.

The second discussion was on the role of the church in disciplining sins of its members. Now, this takes an entirely different turn of events. First of all, I don't believe that the church has a right to judge people. Now of course a leader must lead by example right? But I believe that just like someone needs 70 * 7 chances to grieve the Holy Spirit, that if a member of the church is caught in the act of adultery, that we should speak to that person, be like Jesus, and say "Go and sin no more" and this should be said to that person more than once before they are "disciplined" as my friend said, however I believe that in this case "discipline" and "judged" are synonymous with each other. There exists several biblical references that according to my friend points to the fact that if someone is found committing a sin that before any action is taken against that person, the person must be approached by the members of the church. If a man is found to be gambling and is the leader of a church, should he be stripped of his title right after one person talks to him? Or should he be given a chance to redeem himself? And make things better for him and his family? And if he continues to follow in the path of his sin, then maybe the church board can decide that he should be forced to give up his leadership position. I think that the church is so quick to throw stones at people, and so hard to forgive. We do the opposite of what Jesus did, and that no matter how you sugar coat it is WRONG. Man cannot judge man, because when he does, his imperfect mind creates as a friend of mine said in this discussion "greater and lesser sin" That is crap! There is no such thing in God's eyes! And if we are to try to follow the example of Jesus then we need to stop being the judge, and start being the counselor that helps the person instead of the one who throws them into jail. I think that sometimes we see only what we want to see in a situation, and maybe I am the same way, but I guess that's the way life goes huh? You win some, you lose some, but in the end its all about you and God, so why can't we let God do his judging since he always knows exactly what discipline we deserve? If we love someone we need to lead them in the right path, not condemn them for a mistake. If we just speak to them, we need to continue to do so, don't be so quick to strip them of their positions in church because you never know how far away from the Lord they could've become, and by kicking them out you can be pushing them even further away. And is that the message of the gospel? Because if it is I think I need to reconsider this whole thing, because the example set by Jesus, and the ones set by us today are two completely different things. If man was allowed to judge David would never have been allowed to be King for so long, and though he fell several times he was a man close to God's own heart. Moses who saw and spoke to God was a man who was transformed, and even after all the miraculous events of his life, still there were times when he went astray. We need to see that God will always do the just thing, and we should leave the judgement up to him, and I know everyone is going to say that how are we going to have a Youth leader who is not married and pregnant speaking to our young people about purity and stuff, but while man looks out the outward appearance God looks at the heart. And this young woman can still be an example for these young people. She can tell them about the dangers of sex, and relationships that don't put God first. If the church stopped thinking "what kind if example would he or she be?" and started thinking "what kind of example am i" no one would have to worry about this young lady leading the young people astray, because she would only serve to be an example to them, and it might become easier for some of them to approach her about their own problems. But no one who is expelled from school wants to still come and tutor people within the school, c'mon lets be real here.

Well is 5:55 am and I think its time for worship, so until later world just think about the fact that God was once one of us, and how differently he did everything.

Ok, ok i know its been a while since we last did this but please understand I've been really really really busy if you know what i mean lol, just kidding.Um but it has been a long and tiring roam but we'll discuss that later lol. Ok so clarity, one of my favorite songs from john mayer. And a friend of mine reminded me of that fact recently. So i'm going through a real dilemma, im really into this guy right, and i don't think he's into me but sometimes i get confused. Anyways I just feel like i should tell him how i feel, but i honestly don’t know how, i've never told a guy how i really feel, wel at least not first. And the last two times I did, I got my heart broken the first time, and the second time he got his. And since I hated both of those feelings i'm not sure I should say anything. I mean these feelings could be fleeting, and then again they could actually mean something. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm so confused.

Well world, i'm really aching for john mayer's clarity rite now!