So I know I always say that im a firm believer in be true to who u are and don't give a hoot what other people think of you, and DONT EVER CHANGE YOURSELF FOR SOMEONE. However, something happened to me recently that made me think really hard about that last statement. A friend of mine ask me if i liked anime, and i said no, cause i dont lol, then he was like you have to watch it, and I finally caved in and watched it. I think its ok, but im continued to watch it because he asked  me to do so and I really began to enjoy it but it made me as myself, why did i do so? Prolly cause i want to have something in common with this person. But it is very much against my rule but then I began to think, why do we do the things we say we would never do? And i came to realize that in all honesty, we do certain things because we feel that it would be easier for us to have something in common with the people consider friends. I think that its important that we compromise, but at the same time I think there are certain things about our personalities that we must maintain. So i think that trying new things has never been a badd thing, however we must also be true to ourselves. If you think something doesn't really make sense say that but still be open, and try and find something that you can both like. I think that having new experiences isnt changing yourself, but instead its expanding who you are, and you never know where the experience might take you.

So world, as I leave you tonite, don't be too quick to shut out people's beliefs but instead be opened to what could possibly change or world view and even you life.

Ok, so you kno how badd grades are supposed to motivate ou to do better? Um its not working for me, doesn't that really really suck? cause i think it does. But on the other hand I think I;m in love with Adam Levin from Maroon 5 (cud this be the end of tom? Stay tuned for more lol). Also I watched Boondocks tonite on the episode of BET. It was really funny, and for some reason I find it to be very true as well. BET really does pollute the minds of the black people who watch it. It makes them think that all that is important is who they associate with and the brand of clothing that they wear. It is really sadd. My dad never let me watch BET as a child and tho I got a rap as being the "white girl" i think that i am a lil more open and aware than the average black american. I dont really spend time focused on those things. altho i admit i do waste time as much as the next person, but i always try to check up on what's going on in the world. and i buy clothes cause they look good and not because p. diddy says they look good. I think that it is essential that we as the generation that will soon become parents begin to think about what we want our children to get out of this world. And honestly, i want my children to be educated, and wise, and to know that there are people out there who are suffering and i want them to have a burning in their hearts to try and help those people. I don't want them to be superficial and fake, and self-centered, because that is not why we were placed on this earth. I think that there are times that we waste so much time, energy and resources on the most retarded things. I sit here writing this, and i think about some of the things that i used to and still think are important in my life, and i sigh with disappointment in myself, and my judgement. My heart still aches when i pick up a newspaper and learn about some of the problems that people my age, Baden younger have to face everyday. Prostitution, rape, genocide knock on their doors, and here I am wasting time and not studying for an exam, when these people are wishing they cud attend school, or at least have the opportunity to have even a single fear-free idle moment in their lives. I know i cant save the world, but still id like to know that im at least making it a lil better you know? well lemme not leave you on a ridiculously depressing mode....I'm starting to think about my next topic, and Im thinking...HOW MUCH DO I CHANGE FOR YOU APPROVAL....i still have to think of a song but hopefully ill get to write either 2morrow or Wednesday but rehearsals are getting really intense so... i may be falling behind.

Good nite world..

Yup you read correctly, I had a lot fun today. And so i thot a fun song was due, personally i love doing the cha cha slide, its a great stress reliever. Tonight beyond my better judgement i attended a games nite of sorts. it was lots of fun, I learned i suck in general at everything, but i do enjoy a good time. I also learned that boys' bathrooms are bigger than ours what the hell? We need the extra space, there's more of us in the world lol. Had fun don't know what else to say, I prolly will not be able to say those words for a while to some so...

Remember to keep ur head up world!

So the title is out of my favorite song, from my favorite musical - Seasons of Love - Rent, which by the way is ending its 10 year run this year on Broadway and Im very sadd not to be able to see it. So how do i measure my life? I mean this is a pretty serious question. Do I use mistakes? Accomplishments? Failures? Friends? Pets? this blog (lol)?

Life is so fragile and yet we all use it like it will always be there I think that is because we are mortal beings that crave immortality. In every way there are people who live life on the edge, however, i don't believe that they do this because they want to die but instead the accomplishment of doing something that can steal life away probably makes them feel like they have a small taste of immortality.

So how did this come about today? Well for one thing, we had to sacrifice rats today (again) and as I watch miguel take life from Apollo, it made me start to see how little my life is prolly worth, just like that rat. i mean who am I that i have the rite to live to be 21 years while this rat was barely 50 days old? And what about all of those sick kids who will never reach 21?

I think that we should all show a greater appreciation for the lives that we have. We should not waste a moment (tho i found that i do that alot), we should embrace all of our emotions as they occur, the hurt, the anger, the sadness, the laughter, joy. They should all be experienced, because in the end it is those times that will count the greatest. The times when we laughed and cried, and screamed. I think that life is about living, and we should stop always trying to live a particular life, and instead just live our life. We should stop overanalyzing everything, stop anticipating, and assuming (cause we all know what happens when we ass+u+me lol) and just L-I-V-E!

Well world its been an interesting one, not really sure what Im gonna do now...but i hope it will be worth goodnite!

So, I cried tonite I think it was the first time i think ive ever cried on campus in front of everybody. The truth is that tonite at la coupe, the one thing I can boast about here at USC has been taken from me. I loved (notice the d) la coupe. more than anything in the world I have come to love La Coupe not because i even like basketball but because of the team of supporters that comes together to make la coupe fun. The truth is that I am a die hard supporter in anything that I believe in, i will see any idea to the end, and I will love and support to the end. But tonite I learned two very important lessons.

1. Don't ever try and support someone or try and help someone who doesn't want to be helped. East carib lost the game by one point that could've been looked at as a technical. The Trinidadian team (losers, losers, losers) supporters ran onto the court before the game was over. thus it should've been a technical which would've giving us the game prolly. But instead they just ended the game with Trinidad winning. I took that hard. then we finally get to yell and scream at the judges, the team members pulled the supporters off the court. I thought that was horrible. that was when i started to bawl because imagine u jump up and support and you finally get the chance to vent your frustration. and i was stopped ! WHAT THE FRIGGIN' HELL! Then after I calmed down i go to try and support them again, then we begged them not to accept the friggin medals, but they still decided to accept it! WHAT THE FRIGGIN HELL? I mean we beg you guys not to take it and ya'll took it? Then the freakin' ref was to say shit about how they cannot handle their supporters? what the frigging hell? I mean u gave us a technical because Jason and Sigmund was talking to the refs, but then half of the tnt supporters run onto the court and nothing? nothing? NO-FRIGGIN-THING?WHAT THE HELL? And to make it worst my own friggin team , that beggs us to come out and support them hard turn on me? ME? never, i DO NOT STAND UP FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT ME TO DO SO! Thus this was prolly my last la coupe ever! but its ok, I think that life goes on huh? EAST really hurt me tonite tho. I wudd've done anything for them, but just like my Jesus, i only hep those who help themselves!

2. That cheaters do prosper. HOW THE HELL DID TNT WIN? HOW? I MEAN HOW? THEYB SUCK I HATE THEM,I HOPE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO THEM. They cheated so much tonite that some of their own supporters couldn't jump up with them? YOUR OWN FRIGGIN SUPPORTERS! IT WAS THE MOST UNFAIR GAME EVER. But still cheaters will prosper, and honestly with the behavior of the east carib team, they are LOSERS just like tnt, we shudda let north go, because there is no friggin way in hell that north wudda stand for such shit! IT WAS SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FRIGGIN SHIT! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU JUST ROLL OVER LIKE THAT? WE THE SUPPORTERS DESERVE BETTER! ALLAN YOU SUCK! AND EVERYONE ON THAT FRIGGIN TEAM EXCEPT AARON SUCKS!

AARON HUNTE 2008 MVP!

Goodnite World!

So Its been a regular day, spent it with a friend. And it made me think about forgiveness for some reason. How do I forgive? Now don’t get me wrong I already know I have a problem with forgiveness But i also have this hypocrite way about me when it comes to certain people whom have done wrong things to me. For the most part I would completely forget that a person exists when they do shady things to me, however I have been placed in particular situations where in which that was not possible. The truth is i find that although I may feel a certain apprehensiveness with the person I can still talk to them openly. I guess there are times when in the heat of the moment I feel a particular what but after really thinking about what has went on maybe that person didn't hurt me as I believed that they did. Is that even possible? Is it possible that in one moment you feel and betrayed but after time has passed, and you assess the situation it seems that the person didn't actually hurt me. So why do I still feel like there should be space between us? And how do I stop feeling this way. A couple of months ago, i was reading this book that said that you have not forgiven a person unless you are able to place yourself back into the same situation with that person. The same situation? The one in which i was hurt? No way! But what happens if you do and you don't even notice? I think that happened with me, and the person and I are slowly getting back to the point we were at before the betrayal. It's weird, I hope that God shows me exactly what concept of forgiveness I need to talk, because it is strange to think that I can't forgive someone. And I'm afraid that unless I learn to do so I could end up in the other place lol.

Well world that's it for today! i hope that the truth will be shown to all of us!

PS. -  i just started watching this show called weeds, and now I'm starting to think....selling weed isn't such a badd living lol, well who knows what the future will bring?

So I realized that I always name my blogs by a song,  I guess its just easier that way. So what did I learn today? That opening up and trusting people and being totally honest with them, can actually bring you closer together. I have this amazing friend, and we finally admitted that we used to have feelings for each other, and after that we;re totally alot better friends now, which is weird I guess.

So today was a total chillaxing day fro me cause i really ddint do anything. East Carib won, making saturday's la coupe finals the best ever lol! I'm excited for the weekend hope this one can be as much fun as I'm imagining right now lol.

Peace up A-town down World.!

Ok, so it's another day in the life of Shanna Emmanuel. Any you ask yourself, what went on, pretty boring, just kinda went classes and chilled out with some friends. I know I said I was taking a vow of silence but it's kinda hard to do. I guess I'm gonna have to adjust certain characteristics about me.

So I'm still going to rehearsals like every single night, and the truth is I'm not really sure as to where this play is going. I mean the director is friggin amazing dont get me wrong, but the script has some serious flaws. i mean serious, and the fact that he doesn't know that much about the actual story is causing some serious problems for us as the on looking audience. But tonight I got everyone to do trust falls, it was lots of fun! I miss feeling like that i think that from now on when it comes to MAGS anytime we start to feel really stressed out and stuff, then we are gonna have to do a fun activity like that to help us come back together and focus. I saw how just simply lightening up the atmosphere of a rehearsal and how that can get people working together and stuff again. It shows the way the human mind works and how once we re-focus and come back together we can get a job done so much better, and with much less stress. So today's less: LIGHTEN THE HELL UP! LIFE IS A LOT EASIER WHEN YOU'RE SMILING!

Sorry, that song was just stuck in my head. Itweird how songs get rapped in there isn't it? I find that sometimes I have the strangest songs just floating around in there, like the titile. Well, about today woke up way too late to go to church, prolly because I went to bed at like 4:45am Dumb huh? lol But yeah so i slept until porlly 1pm, then my roomates came home we ate spahaghetti that didnt taste so great, but who's really asking? lol

Just kinda culled for the rest of the day, it was predictable.

Today was one of those experience that I hope I never forget. I visited a Mosque for the first time today. It was truly an eye opening experience. As someone who was born and raised in the Seventh Day Adventist faith, I would like to believe that it is not all that defines me. I think that seeing how Muslims worship is something that has truly has an impact on my life. I always say that if I had more time I would pray more, but today i ask myself hat honestly, and the truth is I cant honestly say that I would spend my extra time with God. I saw a group of people who dedicate themselves so much to what they believe in, that it is a natural part of them. And I fell in love with their dedication. In a world where commitment to anything scares people, it is so good to see people who take their commitment to their creator so seriously. Although I still haven't made up my mind about where the truth lie, I think God has definitely put me on a path on finding the truth that I have wanted for so long.

Recently a lot of my beliefs have been confronted by all sorts of different people with all sorts of different beliefs.  things like creation, and the role of Jesus Christ, have been brought to the forefront of so many discussions that I have had the privilege to be a part of. I think that I live in a time where questions and answers are both greatly needed. A time when complacency cannot work any more.

I was listening to this song by Lee Ann Wormack and it made me think.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give fate a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance, I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance (time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens.
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance.
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance (time is wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)
repeat 1x
I hope you dance

I really hope that in all things I do I take the chance because it is those times when you are so scared of everything falling apart that you become aware of just what it is that you are made of... Well i think I made up for the fact that I didn't post on Thursday, sorry it was a really long day, and i came home really late (We had a La Coupe Basketball Game)

Goodnite World!

Ok...so i know it's been a while but all of a sudden I feel the need to start blogging again. So it;s prolly gonna be kinda boring right now cause I'm being engulfed in School Work..it sux..Y does school get in the way of my social life like this? 

What else...Oh yeah I'm a part of this amazing play cause the Crowned Prince of Egypt, we're in rehearsals right now and is going well I'm definitely learning alot about stage craft and stuff. Well I think that 's everything I promise to try and upload more often...lol bur seriously I will.

Nite nite